WELCOME TO WIDOWED WORLD

16 July 2009

Greetings!

A bit floored by the current humidity and frustrated by a lack of impetus, I’m reminded that this is high summer and everyone else is probably similarly affected. Totally irresistible daytime naps result in less sleep at night but it’s then, when the temperature is cooler, that my brain functions better, creativity is at its peak and my work most productive.  The ironing gets done on the patio early morning or in the evening and cooking is practically non-existent because salads and fruit suffice. It’s a delight to water flower pots and runner bean plants (when nature doesn’t do if for me) and from time to time throughout the day, I gather a few leaves of fresh herbs and steep them in hot water to make a light and refreshing tisane. When the sun shines it’s almost as good as being on holiday and when it rains I’m grateful for the enlivened atmosphere and the opportunity to do a few chores. Even the bicycle has had a few outings recently!  Going with the flow, being flexible and adapting to accommodate changing situations is so much more graceful and relaxing than trying to fix everything and make it conform to a pattern or expectations – especially those of others!

This is the time of year when my car requires an MOT, renewal of insurance and road fund tax. I really struggle with the annual need to make reliable comparisons between insurance quotes and so wish companies would make the process easier. Accomplishing this task is nothing new as I did it when my husband was alive but the process seems to get more complicated every year and makes my head hurt. I’m sure many of you experience the same frustrations. The advantage of course is that it keeps the grey cells functioning!

The recent outcome of a long-standing study by the Swedish medical university Karolinska Institute,
( News Article - Dementia risk high if you live alone ) as highlighted in the BBC News 2 July 2009, points to the fact that mature single and widowed people in particular who live alone, are more susceptible to developing dementias in later years. This gives a clear indication of how important it is for us to keep our minds active and to remain engaged in social activity if we’re to stay mentally alert and retain our independence.  Rebuilding a social life takes both time and effort but the rewards are great, not least in terms of health and wellbeing. In the early days, spending time with other recently widowed people can be so comforting and form the basis for new friendships. Hundreds of people are widowed every day so in any community, be it through a church, community centre, friends or local organisations and especially via volunteering you can find others who will understand what you’re experiencing and be pleased to have someone with whom to share a cup of tea or coffee, go to the cinema, have a meal out or even arrange a weekend break whilst embracing computer technology can put you into contact with interesting people all around the world.

At the end of the day it’s down to us as individuals to make things happen! If you’re feeling sad and lonely, please give it a go!

Jacquie