WELCOME TO WIDOWED WORLD

18 September 2009

It’s amazing what difference a determined change of mindset can make. Having given myself a metaphorical kick in the pants immediately after writing the last Editorial, things started picking up and I’m back to my ‘regular’ self. It takes effort to keep the mind positive, outward and forward looking but the occasional lapse can help us re-assess our situation, become creative and discover pro-active ways to move further ahead.

The most significant thing that’s happened for me recently is that I walked into my kitchen last Sunday morning, saw a bottle of baby oil on the worktop and for some totally inexplicable reason, used the oil to remove my wedding ring! I’ve long pondered on when or for what reason people do take off wedding rings and there seems to be no one defining moment – each person choosing when the time feels right. For me it’s taken five and a half years but others remove theirs much sooner. Had I been able to transfer the ring on my right hand I would have done so but as didn’t fit, at some time in the future I’ll have it and my late mother’s wedding ring melted down, the gold combined and remodelled together. There does seem to come a point when one is no longer grieving, life as a single person has become the norm and one simply has to let go of the ‘widowed’ outlook - maybe that’s where I’m now at!

I wonder how many of you heard the BBC Radio 4 programme ‘Merry Widows’ which was broadcast on August Bank Holiday morning. As one of the four women whose experiences of widowhood were explored, it was interesting for me to hear how similar our experiences were and yet how differently we had chosen to live through them. One lady has become involved with Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO), another writes poetry, the third enjoys community social life including a good old rummage at jumble sales and I chose a life changing holiday which led me to write a book, start clubs for widowed people and to develop the Widowed World website (the producer wasn’t allowed to mention that in the programme) but the details did appear along with my pic on the BBC Radio 4 website.

With autumn now approaching, I’m looking forward to the first of our ‘New Beginnings Workshops for Widowed People’, (see the Home Page Menu>New Beginnings>Courses) and to helping other widowed people plan for a rewarding future. This is an ideal opportunity to take a relaxed, informal weekend break in West Sussex sharing with a small group of forward looking widowed people some stimulating and fun sessions.

This month we have several new and contributed articles including ‘IT for 2009’ and the benefits of using ‘The Bereavement Register’. There will soon be more book reviews and a Newsletter will available on line at the end of the month.

People are regularly signing up to our ‘Forum’ and whilst hoping you’ll contribute to the Forum topics, we encourage you to make contact with other members via e-mail.

In-La Kesh (a Mayan Blessing which means ‘You are another like myself’,

Jacquie