WELCOME TO WIDOWED WORLD

29 May 2009

Greetings,

Well no complaints about the weather here today – wall to wall sunshine and I actually took off my cardigan!

This has been an unusually quiet week by my standards, just gently ticking over, a bit solitary but with some highlights, a lot of restfulness and things shaping up for the next few weeks. I enjoy having flexibility so seldom plan too far ahead but just occasionally there seems to be a period of social famine, only to be followed by a spell of constant activity.

In the last couple of weeks I’ve been reading some newly acquired books to review for the website and discovered that doing so churned up a lot of emotion that I thought I’d long ago put into perspective. It reminded me of how far I’ve come since those early days of widowhood and how many of you who’re more recently widowed are feeling right now. Most widowed people I’ve met agree that as time moves on, they prefer to live in the present and look to the future rather than revisit their earlier grief and this seems to be nature’s way of helping us to rebuild our lives. It can take as long for our emotions to mend as it would for broken bones, a serious illness or major surgery so we need to be patient and believe that time really does heal.

Talking of books, it sometimes helps to read of fictional characters going through widowhood. One can identify with the characters in a private, comprehending and far less emotional way than one might if discussing personal feelings in conversation with family or friends. The vehicle of the novel allows for the inclusion of subtle nuances that exist between couples and make up their daily lives – the love, the disagreements, family crisis, highs and lows and reading them somehow helps to put our own thoughts and feelings into greater perspective. Theatre is another useful medium, clearly demonstrated when I accompanied a party of widowed people to see Penelope Keith in Entertaining Angels, a play brilliantly written by Richard Everett. Penelope Keith plays the part of the wife of the late village vicar, who, whilst having imaginary (angelic) conversations with her husband at the bottom of the garden, uncovers family intrigue, infidelity and an illegitimate child. Written with great sensitivity, the central character wonderfully portrayed by Miss Keith, the experience proved to be a turning point for several people, enabling them to view and come to terms with their own circumstances from a whole new dimension.

If you find a really helpful novel, film or play do let me know so that I can share the information with others.

Take time to smell the flowers.

Jacquie