Research Topic - March 2007

It appears that for however long one remains widowed and single, for some there seems not to be an established niche into which we can comfortably fit.  Being with couples continues to compound the sense of aloneness, the singles dating scene doesn’t necessarily fit the bill and family and close friends have their own lives to lead so can’t always be available to share activities with. 

Couples who’ve been together for many years develop a co-reliance on each other that often excludes the need for other friendships, but when that relationship ends in bereavement, the one left behind is often at a loss to know how to reach out to the wider community.

It’s all very well keeping ourselves busy but sometimes we’re in need of a chance to let our hair down, enjoy mixed company, have someone to dance with and not least, have the opportunity of making new friends in a similar situation to ourselves with whom we can share cosy home-cooked meals, a TV programme or DVD, the garden, holidays and other interests.

What do you think? We’d love to hear from or about people who’ve successfully rebuilt their lives following widow(er)hood so that we can give encouragement and practical help to others.

We’ll look forward to receiving your messages at jacquie.clarke@widowedworld.co.uk

 

---

 

Responses

Hi my name is May,

I have been a widow for 26 years and I still hate Sundays I call it the loneliest day of the week.

I found after the funeral the easiest thing to do was go back to work and think what to do with my life now that I was alone. I was never one for doing things without my husband. now I took the bull by the horns, I decided I must be strong. I made mistakes but not everything goes right first time be like Robert the Bruce try and try again

I took courses at the local college to learn about computers, I learned to swim and also helped out in charity shops, that way people are there to talk to and also to make friends.

The worse thing anyone can do is sit at home and feel sorry for themselves. I sold my marital home and bought a retirement home which is the best thing I have ever done .Apart from the security and help that is laid on there are the other residents to make friends with, we all look out for each other.

So if you do not want to be on your own and lonely now is the time to do something about it, ask for help, people are only too pleaseed to be able to help, so do not be frightened to ask, go on ask, you will not be sorry. 

I would like to think what I have said might be of help 

bye now look forwards not backwards.