Editor:
Nick Stuart-Nicolson writes from the perspective of a long career as a Senior Funeral Director and at Widowed World we are very grateful for the sensitive way in which he has approached a difficult subject. We hope the article will clarify some misconceptions and enable readers to make unhurried and well informed decisions regarding the placement of cremation ashes.
CREMATION
Important Decisions Regarding the Placing of Ashes
When Jacquie (founder of Widowed World) first asked me to write a piece about Ashes (or Cremated remains), I was immediately aware of the sensitivity of this particular topic. However, on further reflection I felt that really there should be no mystery, or indeed any perpetuation of “old wives tales”.
Most people are somewhat suspicious of the reality of the identity or genuineness of the ashes that are produced following a Cremation. In this respect, I am anxious to describe the procedure in order to remove all doubts.
Following all Cremations, whatever remains in the place where the Cremation has taken place is an amount of calcified bone fragments of the deceased. Nothing else is left – there is no wood ash (from the coffin) and no trace of jewellery as all these will have been totally consumed. However, metal items such as hip-replacements remain and are sensitively disposed of.
Following the cremation, these pieces of calcified (and very crumbly) bone structures are put into a device which reduces them to a fine ash. It is this fine ash (which is carefully labelled throughout the process), which is placed in a suitable container pending the next stage.
When it comes to a decision regarding the final resting place of the ashes, I would always urge that sufficient time is taken in making this important decision.
Quite often the ashes are scattered or buried at the Crematorium. This very brief ceremony could be witnessed or left entirely to the Crematorium staff. A clergyman may be engaged to oversee this if desired. The most regular decision, however, is to leave this entirely in the Crematorium’s hands. At any time in the future, the exact location of the place where the ashes lie can be identified to you by the Crematorium Staff.
Most Crematoriums will offer (sometimes quite costly) further “add-ons” such as Rose Bushes and Rose Trees. My personal advice is to very carefully consider these options, particularly as they are usually renewable after 10 years (at further, and quite often inflated rates). The Book of Remembrance could also be considered – although this is available to view at any time, it is only actually open for each individual day of the year.
With this in mind, again my view is that something far more personal should be considered; maybe a favourite location ( The Downs or at Sea for example) or even in one’s own garden. The options therefore are endless. Sometimes, a family will wish to keep the ashes at home in a suitable container. Likewise, we are quite often asked to retain the ashes in our Private Chapel pending a decision and sometimes these are held for some considerable time.
A regular decision is for the ashes to be buried in a family grave or in a new “cremation” plot. This can be at the local Cemetery or Churchyard. This option does of course generally lead into the need for a suitable memorial stone – which again is a matter for lengthy deliberation. Also, it may be preferred that the ashes are contained within an alternative casket or otherwise.
There are a number of other alternatives, such as creating a “diamond” from a portion of the ashes. There are specialist companies who will arrange this. Arrangements can also be made for the ashes to be propelled in a rocket and dispersed into the atmosphere (see below).
These more elaborate choices would require quite considerable discussion within the family – as everyone will need to be in agreement.
The emphasis is certainly to give ample time in making any decision and not to feel compelled to reach a conclusion in the early stages of planning the funeral or even immediately afterwards.
Clearly, this is a potentially wide topic……….. should anyone need to seek more personal advice please feel able to contact Nick Stuart-Nicolson on 01243 864745
Some Internet websites researched by Widowed World
http://www.ashesintoglass.co.uk/
Telephone on 01268 293000
E-mail studio@ashesintoglass.co.uk
Ashes Into Glass (Winner of Orange sponsored National Business Award 2009)
Barleylands Glassworks
Barleylands Road
Billericay
Essex
CM11 2UD
http://www.heart-in-diamond.co.uk/
Telephone 0845 680 1317
E-mail at info@anniversarydiamonds.co.uk
Anniversary Diamonds Limited
Office 333, 19-21 Crawford Street
London W1H 1PJ
United Kingdom
http://www.heavensabovefireworks.com/
Telephone: 01992 578993 or 0771 9816313
info@heavensabovefireworks.com
Heavens Above Fireworks Limited
Stonards Hill,
Epping
Essex
CM16 4QH